This is Ziggy!
The Puppy Mayor of Washington, DC
Breaking News In his victory speech, Ziggy thanked his supporters and said he is a good dog and will be a good mayor.
Mr. Ziggy will serve a 4 year term as the Mayor of DC, although its not clear at this time whether those are in human or dog years.
Ziggy's Platform
- Building more dog parks
- Banning discrimination against dogs, requiring all restaurants and public businesses to allow them inside
- Criminalizing squirrels
- Universal Doggy Daycare
- Designating Trump Hotel as an Official Pee Spot
Ziggy's story
Ziggy was born in a shelter in West Virginia but escaped hardship after being adopted through the City Dogs Rescue foster network. He graduated from Spot On Training University, despite incessantly barking in class.
Known for his floppy ears, extreme friendliness, and signature sea lion bark, Ziggy immediately became a popular fixture of Shaw. He could be found trotting about, defending the neighborhood from squirrels, introducing himself to dogs and people, and poking his nose into local businesses to see if they have any treats.
A newcomer to politics, Ziggy was inspired when public outcry convinced the city to legalize dogs on restaurant patios. The widespread show of support convinced him the city is ready for its first beagle mayor.
He ran as a the Repuplican candidate against incumbant Muriel Bowser, who is not a puppy.
Ziggy cares deeply about his community and won't rest until he's confident there's no more discarded pizza on the street, and the city works for all citizens, pointy-eared and floppy-eared alike.
Precedent
DC has never had a canine public official before, although there are many dogs working as public servants in emergency services.
Meanwhile a cat named Stubbs has been the Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years. Mayor Stubbs has declined to endorse Mr. Ziggy because Ziggy barks at cats.
We believe Mr. Ziggy can bridge the gap between longtime District residents, who love their dogs, and the millennial yuppies who really love their dogs and refer to them as ”fur babies” unironically.*
”He is excellent at hearing. Listening... depends. Which means he won’t be captive to special interests unless they happen to be golden retrievers.”
”Mr. Ziggy appears confused by complex issues like Initiative 77. He seems less interested in whether restaurant workers will receive tips than whether they will bring him food, which they currently do not.”
”Woof. Woof, woof. Woof! He'll be an excellent mayor.”
”What the hell are you talking about?”
The Future
Mayor Ziggy says he is focused on the job he has, serving DC and scavenging for pizza on U-Street, and currently has no plans to pursue higher office in 2020.
But that's what they all say…