Breaking News Ziggy has announced his candidacy for Mayor of Washington, DC. He'll be running against Muriel Bowser, and his odds of defeating her in November are just as good as anyone else's!
Ziggy was born in a shelter in West Virginia but escaped hardship after being adopted through the City Dogs Rescue foster network. He graduated from Spot On Training University, despite incessantly barking in class.
Known for his floppy ears, extreme friendliness, and signature sea lion bark, Ziggy immediately became a popular fixture of Shaw. He could be found trotting about, defending the neighborhood from squirrels, introducing himself to dogs and people, and poking his nose into local businesses to see if they have any treats.
A newcomer to politics, Ziggy was inspired when public outcry convinced the city to legalize dogs on restaurant patios. The widespread show of support convinced him the city is ready for its first beagle mayor.
Ziggy cares deeply about his community and won't rest until he's confident there's no more discarded pizza on the street, and the city works for all citizens, pointy-eared and floppy-eared alike.
DC has never had a canine public official before, although there are many dogs working as public servants in emergency services.
Meanwhile a cat named Stubbs has been the Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years. Mayor Stubbs has declined to endorse Mr. Ziggy because Ziggy barks at cats.
We believe Mr. Ziggy can bridge the gap between longtime District residents, who love their dogs, and the millennial yuppies who really love their dogs and refer to them as ”fur babies” unironically.*
”He is excellent at hearing. Listening... depends. Which means he won’t be captive to special interests unless they happen to be golden retrievers.”
”Mr. Ziggy appears confused by complex issues like Initiative 77. He seems less interested in whether restaurant workers will receive tips than whether they will bring him food, which they currently do not.”
”Woof. Woof, woof. Woof! He'll be an excellent mayor.”
